For most people, getting someone to like you is subconscious and, therefore, subject to chance.
But what if you were to become more aware of the friendship building process and could use it more effectively? Couldn’t this ability help you in your professional life?
Wouldn’t the ability to actively get coworkers to like you be an advantage?

Sharing a seat in a ‘cube-farm’ doesn’t guarantee that everyone will work efficiently or productively together. That requires good communications and the positive feelings people have about each other is the grease that keeps good communications flowing. But, how can we cultivate good feelings among coworkers?

Those people who know the friendship making process are able not only to make more friends and spread good feelings, they are better able to overcome their own subconscious prejudices that may be impairing their relationships with fellow workers.

Here are 7 Ways to Create a More Effective Relationship with Coworkers
Seven conscious steps to take when you are ready to make more friends at the office.

1. Get the other person’s opinions without judging. This is sometimes difficult because we come into relationships with our own ideas and preferences. But if you are able to put those aside for a moment and truly listen with an open mind to someone else, you’ve taken a giant step towards friendship. Remember, you don’t have to always agree with a coworker to be friends.
2. Don’t compete with them. Competition of the unfriendly kind can kill a friendship. Often, we compete without even knowing it. At work, this might translate to vying for the same clients. Out of work, it might mean playing body-one-upmanship at the gym. This kind of behavior not only shows you aren’t friendly, it demonstrates underlying, unattractive low self-esteem. Feel good about yourself based on your own merits and you will be a lot better off when trying to make new friends.
3. Echo back what they said in their own words. This basic communication technique demonstrates you listen well. Be careful, though. You don’t want to parrot everything your potential friend says, or you might come off as being strange as well as insincere.
4. Ask for clarification. When you ask for clarification, you show you care about what your cube mate is saying, as you create a deeper bond through communication that rises above the superficial. You also show you are sincerely trying to understand the other person, which proves you have a vested interest in everyone meeting their objectives.
5. Use affirming body posture. To make friends, you need to appear welcoming. Stand in a relaxed manner without crossing your arms, which can make you look closed or aggressive. Use eye contact. Avoid doing things like checking your emails or scanning the room while in conversation, since these actions make you appear less than interested in what your coworker has to impart.
6. Smile regularly. Sporting an open smile is an invite to connect. Just be sure the smile is relaxed and not forced, or you will look creepy.
7. Spend time with them. There’s something to be said for carving out time for friendship. Not only does scheduling lunches and other social activities demonstrate you care enough to do more than pencil them in, it helps cement the relationship through encouraging common experiences. When you go to lunch with a potential friend, for example, you have the opportunity to discuss the menu, talk about your activities and enjoy the meal together, lending itself to bonding.

Studies have shown that people who feel good about each other communicate more effectively and work better together. In the workplace, coworkers who are friends are more likely to put forth additional effort in support of each other.

Actively cultivating friendships in the workplace can be very satisfying both personally and professionally. Make improving communications in the workplace by making friends a conscious effort. Give it a try!